Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Why I Like Roy

He's honest about it:

[Texas is] the only place in the country that gives New York serious competition for the most self-regarding jurisdiction on earth... which I can appreciate.


I myself can't. In fact, I find such self-regard totally insufferable, and in certain contexts (okay, sports) it drives me batshit fucking insane. Not so insane that I hope an entire group of people dies lonely, sobbing for mommy, in some pathetic and drunken mattress fire incident (that sort of bile, also sports-inspired, is solely reserved for the most repugnant sub-sapien primates on earth: Chicago Cubs fans), but pretty damn livid. Still, I can respect it of others when they admit it; rather like how I as an agnostic can respect the stated beliefs of Scientologists or Rotarians. To each, his own! (And how's that for self-regard?)

But seriously, congrats to Roy on getting shacked-up. Texas, though enemy territory, isn't too far; maybe we could all have a beer sometime provided he hasn't gone too native by then and insists on a Lone Star or Pearl Light.

PS: Roy needs to know that only barbarians think cooked beef can be called barbecue.

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