Thursday, July 31, 2008

With An Ol' Banjo On His Knee

Gomer Owens shows off his fancy book-learnin' and in the process just totally proves no rightwinger could ever kill a fellow countryman in cold blood over political differences:

Time for a history lesson.

As a matter of unquestioaned fact, the majority of political assassinations in America have come from the left.

John Wilkes Booth was a cross between Robert Byrd and Alec Baldwin, Charles J. Guiteau was a John Edwards-type lawyer who was told by the great beyond (perhaps channelling?) to murder President Garfield, Leon F. Czolgosz, who shot William McKinley was a leftwing anarchist. Guiseppe Zangara who tried to kill FDR was a whacked-out anti-capitalist, and we all know Lee Harvey Oswald was a communist sympathizer.

Wannabe white Black Panther Sam Byck got himself killed trying to take out Nixon, and a year later, loonie lefty cultist Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme tried to take out President Ford, who was the target of lefty counterculture loser Sarah Jane Moore just 17 days later.

Andrew Mickel, an Indymedia contributor, carried out the latest purely poltical assassination I'm aware of on American soil. Not surprisingly, this guy was a graduate of far left Evergreen State College. He has been convicted of murder, and has been sentenced to death.

The evidence is pretty convincing that if there is a political assassination attempt in America, that either the left or the mentally ill are behind it.

Internationally? Stalin, Lenin, Pol Pot, Castro, Che...

Shall I go on? Whether you prefer to discuss purely domestic political violence, or look at the international scene, the far left has a bloody, wide and deep track record of political killings. [...]

Posted by: Confederate Yankee at July 29, 2008 05:16 PM

Sorry, Bob, but you're bluffing. I'll see your three sets of false teeth and raise you a quart of moonshine:

Actually, Booth was a cross between the 'Confederate' part of 'Confederate Yankee', and Ron Silver. Well, except that Booth was a famous actor before he was a murderer, while Silver has always been a Hollywood c-lister, and has only murdered on screen.

Guiteau, before he became a murderer, was the 19th century equivalent of a bitter, sexually-frustrated and semi-literate wingnut blogger, a former wannabe-hippie (he had tried to join the Oneida Commune) who resented being rejected by the sexy ladies. He shot Garfield because, he said, God told him to. He was infatuated with the murder weapon, wanting the pistol with the fanciest grips. In this sense he was like the average, no doubt impotent, NRA superenthusiast, enthralled by shiny and deadly penis substitutes.. he was rather like... well, like one of those slack-jawed doofuses who work behind gun counters. You know the type. After he pulled the trigger and was seized, Guiteau declared that he was a Stalwart and [Chester A.] Arthur was President. A Stalwart was sort of like an anti-RINO of the day, someone who feared and loathed any internal reform of his party's corrupt practices.

Czolgosz indeed had leftist beliefs, but his methods were rightwing. He was rejected by every anarchist organization to which he'd tried to attach himself; in fact, his methods were so extreme most anarchists assumed he was a government mole.

Zangara I don't know enough about to answer. Advantage, Cletus.

The Manson Family wanted to start a race war -- not exactly a left-wing enterprise.

Mickel's a fair point. But you get Tim McVeigh and Eric Rudolph. You also get all the Muslim terrorists who are the reactionary, rightwing fanatics of their cultural context. And speaking of "internationally," you get Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Salazar, Suharto, Somoza, The Shah, Pinochet, Col. Armas, Admiral Kolchak, Marcos, Stroessner, the Greek Colonels, Batista, the Apartheid South Africans, Peron, Galtieri, Ian Smith, Mobotu, Nixon, Kissinger, etc., etc., ad nauseum. So there's that. Then there's this, from one of Gomer's loyal commenters:

I'm going to lay this out nice and ugly for you on the Left.

First of all, I myself don't plan on copying this guy. I've got a life to live, and I don't intend to end it in police gunfire (or my own), or to spend the rest of my life behind bars. So no, I'm not a "future shooter."

Furthermore, it's possible that the people shot didn't deserve it. They were probably just typical lame but relatively harmless liberals.

This does not apply to you on the far Left, however. You are swine, and although I don't actually intend to kill you personally, I would not shed a tear if someone else did. [...]

Let's lay this out nice and ugly. Somewhere out there is someone who hates you just as much as I do, except that he has terminal cancer. He can kill you, and there's nothing you can do about it. If you try to enact gun control, we will wipe the electoral floor with you, as we always do when gun control is the issue. Read the polls sometime. About twice as many love the NRA as hate it, and that's according to the left-leaning Pew poll. 75% (!) think guns are an individual right. So if you even touch this issue, down you go.

So basically what you're left with is hoping that we don't get cancer and turn you into hamburger. HA HA HA HA HA.
Posted by: Ken at July 30, 2008 12:41 AM

Possum on a gumbush, Bob! You done got yerself a real card there!