Monday, December 19, 2005

Songs From The Wingnut Recovering Alcoholic Jug Band Setlist

Stupid ditties or stupidity?

Here's an old post from Atrios, where wingnut Yalies identify, through song, with Nazis.

And, a more recent post from Catch where Kevin is forced to roll his eyes and stiffle a gag at a purplely-themed wingnut song that has more in common with Barney than, say, Prince or Ritchie Blackmore.

Both links bring to mind an old column by Hitchens (back before he joined the Sith). He'd acquired the recreational songbook of the 77th Tactical Squadron of the USAF, stationed in England. How does one know that these were composed by wingnuts? The lyrics are proof. Bear in mind the following is Reagan-era wingnuttery, so lets see if it holds up as well as The Thompson Twins* and Wham! and other execrable 80s acts we're all trying to forget:

Phantom flyers in the sky,
Persian pukes prepare to die,
Rolling in with snake and nape,
Allah creates but we cremate.

North of Tehran, we did go,
When the FAC said from bellow,
'Hit my smoke, and you will find,
The Arabs there are in a bind.'

How about some cretinous, obscene chauvinism -- with a touch of necrophilia?

Down in Cunt Valley where Red Rivers flow,
Where cocksuckers flourish and whore mongers grow,
There lives a young maiden that I do adore
She's my Hot Fuckin' Cocksuckin' Mexican Whore

Oh Lupe, Oh Lupe, deadin her tomb,
While maggots crawl out of her decomposed womb.
But the smile on her face is a mute cry for more!!!
She's my Hot Fuckin' Cocksukin' Mexican Whore.

How about another:

I fucked a dead whore by the road side,
I knew right away she was dead.
The skin was all gone from her tummy,
The hair was all gone from her head.

After reminding us that these guys carry nukes, Hitchens quotes another bit of Freedom Rock, man, so let's crank it up:

Leaving the orbit our pits start to sweat
We'll asshole those fuckers and that's a sure bet
Burn all those Russkies and cover 'em with dirt
That's why we love sitting Victor Alert.

RHAW Scope is flashing, the floggers are closing
SAM's all around us, the GUN-DISH is HOSING
Flying so fast our hair is on fire
Killing those commies is our one desire.

When the shit fills up your flight suit
and you're feeling had, just remember that
Big mushroom cloud and then you won't feel SO BAD...

Wingnuts. When it comes to songcraft, they aren't just whistling "Dixie".

* I confess I have a soft spot for a couple Thompson Twins songs. Yeah, I know..