Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Out With It!

Okay, I've been promising a comprehensive follow-up to the original Wingnut All-Stars post for a long time now.

And I know that I've not follow-up on things I've promised in the past. But I've really been working on this, and it's coming along.

Gavin M. of Sadly, No! has generously offered his photoshop skillz for the project, while Seb of the same excellent blog helpfully re-posted some of his long-lost archives so that I have extra material with which to trash Steven den Beste.

A word or two for the tone I aim to use for WAS: I hope to make it light. Mostly. It will very much be "the politics of personal destruction;" it is indeed intended to humiliate, to "crush the infamous" as one of the original satirists perfectly put it. But I hope it will not be hateful, with a few exceptions.

I have my own personal wingnut bete noire, and he will be dealt with harshly, as he so richly deserves. There are also a select few wingnuts whom I find personally despicable; whose styles, personalities, lack of integrity, and especially disgusting politics bring out my urge to be wrathful. Put it this way, while Jonah Goldberg is a fool, a moron, and a devious fuckwit about most things, he's at least semi-honest about what he is and where he stands. Even bullshit, as a wise man said, has its own integrity. Then there are people like Michael J. Totten, Tacitus, Norman Podhoretz, Max Boot and Glenn Reynolds who have no excuse and, I believe, should be given absolutely no quarter. Fair warning.

Now for format. The information I've collected is massive: it's impossible to put it in one post. So what I'll do is write a relatively brief "team profile", then do an entry on an individual. Hopefully, when I'm done, everything will be collected in an orderly way with quicklinks on the righthand side of the blog.

Anyway, this is how I've got it laid out so far, hopefully the themes and connections will be obvious:

WINGNUT LEAGUE ALL-STARS
Administration:
George W. Bush: Commissioner
George H.W. Bush: Former Commissioner and HOF member
Ronald Reagan: Former Commissioner, Innercircle HOFer and Patron Saint
Richard Nixon: Former Commissioner, Innercircle HOFer and Patron Saint
Augusto Pinochet: Former Chief, Wingnut Latin American Operations
Henry Kissinger: Innercircle HOFer; Architect, Wingnut Moral Operations
Paul Wolfowitz: Title uncertain
Donald Rumsfeld: Title uncertain

The teams and players:

DOUCHEBAG LEAGUE:

CANUCKISTAN WINGNUTIENS
David Frum & Danielle Crittenden
Mark Steyn
Rachel Marsden
Charles Krauthammer

PHILADELPHIA PHUCKTARDS:
Justin Darr

JACKSONVILLE JACKASSES:
Joe Scarborough

VIRGINIA HOUSETRAILERS:
Kaye Grogan
Jim Robinson & Freepers
Mike Krempasky, Leon, Bird Dog & the Red State.org recovering alcoholic jugband

CHARLOTTE HARLOTS:
Jeff Gannon
Armstrong Williams

MICHIGAN MORONS:
Brian Cherry
John J. Miller

ATLANTA APPARATCHIKS:
L. Brent Bozell
Bernard Goldberg
Tim Graham
Michael Medved

TAMPA BAY PTEROCARYAE
Victor Davis Hanson
Paul Johnson

GOLDEN STATE GASBAGS:
Tucker Carlson
Sebastian Holsclaw
Ed Morrissey
Tacitus
Gerard van der Leun
George F. Will

SEATTLE PSEUDOLIBERALS:
Peter Beinart
Richard Cohen
Mickey Kaus

LAS VEGAS LYSENKOISTS
Gregg Easterbrook
Schulz, Glassman & Tech Central Station creeps

TRANSYLVANIA TRIBALISTS:
Pat Buchanan
Werner Cohn
Alan Dershowitz
Bill O'Reilly

DETROIT DINOSAURS:
Robert Novak
Phyllis Schlafly

HICKTOWN HAYSEEDS:
Charlie Daniels
Lee Greenwood
Toby Keith
Ted Nugent

HARTFORD HYPOCRITES:
William Bennett
Rush Limbaugh

RED STATE RAPTURISTS:
Mark H. Creech
James Dobson
Jerry Falwell
Billy Graham
Sun Myung Moon
Fred Phelps
Pat Robertson
Jimmy Swaggart
Cal Thomas
Donald Wildmon

CINCINNATI STEREOTYPERS:
David Brooks
Rod Dreher

SACRAMENTO CHAUVINISTS:
Vox Day
Newt Gingrich
Dennis Prager

TWIN CITY TECHNOCRATS:
Kenneth Baer
Jonathan Chait
Kevin Drum
Michael Kinsley
Nicholas Kristof
Sebastian Mallaby

RHODE ISLAND RACISTS:
Dinesh D'Souza
Michelle Malkin
Charles Murray
Steve Sailer
Ruth Shalit

PENNSYLVANIA POD PEOPLE:
Elliott Abrams
Midge Dector
John Podhoretz
Norman Podhoretz

LEVITTOWN LAMEASSES:
Stephen Green
Meghan Cox Gurdon
James Lileks
Cathy Seipp
The Yoest Infection

ORANGE COUNTY ASSHATS:
Brit Hume
Sean Hannity
Michael Reagan

BALTIMORE BIMBOTS:
Rebecca Hagelin
Katherine Harris
Resa Laru Kirkland
Marie Jon'
Pamela S
Gabrielle Reilly
Debbie Schlussel
Heather Wilhelm

CHICKENHAWK LEAGUE:

PORTLAND PROPAGANDISTS:
Glenn Beck
Tony Blankley
David Gelernter
Frank Luntz
James Taranto

INDIANAPOLIS INCOGNITOS:
Howard Finemen
Howard Kurtz
Judith Fucking Miller
Adam Nagourney
Nedra Pickler

PILSBURY PANTLOADS:
Jonah Goldberg

WISCONSIN WANKERS:
Ann Althouse
Hugh Hewitt
Andrew McCarthy

KNOXVILLE KNOBS:
Judson Cox
Glenn Reynolds

LOS ANGELES RECONSTRUCTED NAZIS OF ANAHEIM:
Charles Johnson
Misha

KENTUCKY KAVEMEN:
Kim du Toit
Jeff Jacoby
Michael Savage

PITTSBURGH POMPOMS:
Niall Ferguson
Christopher Hitchens
Andrew Sullivan

MINNESOTA MASTURBATORS:
David Adesnik & Oxblog
Joe Sabia
Adam Yoshida

CLEVELAND CLOSET-CASES:
John Derbyshire
Matt Drudge
Powerline

YAZOO CITY YOOSTABEES:
David Horowitz
Roger L. Simon
Michael J. Totten

SILICON VALLEY RANDROIDS:
Jane Galt
Alan Greenspan
Amber Pawlik
Leonard Peikoff
Sara of Trying To Count

CHICAGO SUGAR DADDIES
Conrad Black
Steve Forbes
Alan Keyes
Rupert Murdoch
Martin Peretz
Richard Mellon Sciafe

THE PHOENIX PHALANGE:
William F. Buckley, Jr.
Kathryn J. Lopez
William Donohue

CAROLINA CONSERVATARIANS:
Neal Boortz
Virginia Postrel
Thomas Sowell
John Stossel
Eugene Volokh & the Volokh Degeneracy

DENVER DICKHEADS:
G. Gordon Liddy
Ben Stein

LOS ANGELES SEX-DODGERS:
Virgin Ben Shapiro
Hans Zeiger
Ben Ferguson
Ross Douthat

NEW JERSEY JINGOS:
Max Boot
Ann Coulter
Rich Lowry
Marshall Whitman

KANSAS CITY KRISTOLMETHODISTS:
Gertrude Himmelfarb
Bill Kristol
Irving Kristol

COLORADO CRACKPOTS:
Donald Luskin
Larry Kudlow
Grover Norquist

GRAND RAPIDS GRAND MASTERS:
Steven den Beste
Tom Friedman
Michael Ledeen
Richard Perle
Daniel Pipes
Richard Pipes

SOUTHERN CAL C-LISTERS:
Pat Boone
Kirk Cameron
Orson Scott Card
Mike Ditka
Dan Haggerty
Paul Harvey
Dennis Miller
Pat Sajak
Curt Schilling
Ron Silver
Ultimate Warrior

So, what do you think? Suggestions? Got any especially nice takedowns of these wingnuts bookmarked, or anything especially stupid/offensive that they've said you'd like to share? Is there anyone I've missed?

I do have several wingnuts I'm uncertain which team to assign to. Peggy Noonan is one.

I want to hear your opinion. And gracias for your patience.

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