Saturday, April 16, 2005


I've spent a long time now arguing against the cheating assholes (and the statheads who love them) who've ruined baseball.

This week I'm going to try to sell a bunch of books I dont want on ebay, one of which is Ozzie Smith's memoir, written in pre-steroids 1988, which nevertheless takes to task the cheaters of his day, implicitly that New York Mets fucktard Howard Johnson:

Corked bats and scuffed balls were hot topics during the season. A lot more home runs were hit, and people looked for reasons. I think it's a safe bet to say a lot of home runs were hit with corked bats. when a guy who has never hit more than 10 home runs in the major leagues suddenly hits 40, you've got to question how much is the result of working out and how much of that is due to other causes. In my opinion, when totals like that go into the books, there ought to be an asterisk next to them and the word cheating in parentheses.

Amen, Ozzie. And with regard to the present crop of (steroids) cheaters, I think most regular fans agree with Ozzie's incredulity of stat-spikes and with his recommendation of harsh punitive action. On the other hand, many if not most statheads can't spit Barry Bonds's cock from their mouths long enough to remember that baseball, as a game, is founded on the principle of fair play. But then it's hard to remember, much less advocate, fair play when the status quo narcocracy gives you players with a 1.300 or so OPS -- numbers that inspire so many spreadsheets to stick together like Ben Shapiro's family's Sears catalogs.