Wednesday, February 09, 2005

An elementropy Request To His Honorable Kofi Annan

Dept. Of State
Republic Of Bulungi

Dear Mr Annan

I was engrossed by the account of Mdm Ambassador's effectiveness at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.

Such is Mdm Ambassador's grace, charm, and diplomatic skill, that I congratulate you and the United Nations on the success of her mission to secure aid for refugees worldwide.

It is with this in mind that I, RETARDO MONTALBAN, diplomatic liason to His Exaltedness, President of the Republic of Bulungi, hereby request Mdm. Ambassador's presence here in our beautiful, if strife-striken, country so that we may, together, strip naked, smear each other's bodies with cocoa butter, and fornicate in such a manner that Peter North would send letters praising my stamina and skill, while the said Mdm Ambassador would subsequently write a column in Cosmo in a breathless tone of utmost sincerity lauding ancient Bulungian tantric techniques of which I am master work to assuage the hardships suffered by Bulungian refugees.

I am hopeful that with Mdm Ambassador's triumph in Davos, the United Nations recognises what a sea-change her presence would inspire in my proud country.



United Nations Goodwill Ambassador:

Via Rodger A. Payne