Thursday, January 20, 2005

Inaugural Bawl

Recapping a truly awful day:

Here we see Jenna mime her preferred method of Jack Daniels binging: deep-throating the bottle; whilst Not-Jenna gazes straight ahead into nothing (or her father's head; same difference), glazey and hazey and no doubt mentally constructing the perfect bong.



Text containing Ozzie snark is here.

Then there is this picture and caption, an alltogether more honest appraisal of not only the state of the inaugural but the state of the country than what the television has shown throughout the day:



And then there is the AP's recap, some parts of which I'll quote and, as necessary, translate.

WASHINGTON - George W. Bush embarked on an ambitious second term as president Thursday, telling a world anxious about war and terrorism that the United States would not shrink from new confrontations in pursuit of "the great objective of ending tyranny."


In his deliberate way, he's saying that tyranny will end in the United States exactly four years from today.

"Our country has accepted obligations that are difficult to fulfill and would be dishonorable to abandon," the president declared in the first wartime inauguration in more than three decades.


"I've fucked shit up in a way that's difficult for the country to pay for and impossible for me or my cronies and hacks to defend."

Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, 80 years old and frail with thyroid cancer, administered the oath in his first public appearance in three months — a gesture Bush called "incredibly moving."


Only if one is also moved by seeing a decrepit and elderly Palpatine administer ball lightning charges to prone defenseless figures, the closest analogy in fiction to the sad state of the facts today. More moving, to me, is the story of a younger Rehnquist's penchant for accurate self-parody, as when he'd jump up on the SC's cafeteria tables to address the clerks with a throaty fascistic "achtung!"

It was the first inauguration since the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and the capital was enveloped in a security blanket of thousands of police and miles of metal barricades. Snipers lined rooftops, while bomb-sniffing dogs toiled down below.


In case of a huge protest, and/or in rehearsal of the fantasy martial law sequence Republicans envision by which they declare theocratic dictatorship and an official end to the election charade we've had for the past two political cycles. That, or just because seeing a lot of cops, SWAT teams, and automatic weapons are about the only things that can help a Republican achieve an erection.

Entering his second term with one of the lowest approval ratings of any recent two-term president, Bush was unapologetic in his speech about the course he had set over four tumultuous years.


"I did it my way, and you got the highway."

He challenged critics of his quest to spread democracy across the Middle East, saying that now "is an odd time for doubt." And he voiced eagerness to confront oppressive rule around the globe in the name of spreading freedom.

"All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: The United States will not ignore oppression or excuse your oppressors," Bush said. "When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you."


BULLSHIT DETECTOR AT CRITICAL MASS. OVERLOAD. BULLSHIT OVERLOAD.
"It's an odd time to doubt what I say, what with me installing a death squad enthusiast to rule Iraq to replace the one we kicked out, palling up with Yeltsin who has pretty much destroyed Russian democracy, and with me giving a perpetual economic blowjob to the Chinese dictatorship, as well as with my unabated love-fest with the Saudi dynasty; also, it is my position that democracy is not to be exported to places like Florida and Ohio, and is to be repealed in Venezuela. Guhuhuh. Thankee."

With his oath, Bush began a new chapter in a presidency transformed by the 2001, terrorist attacks that killed nearly 3,000 people. What was an unremarkable presidency to that point, preoccupied by tax cuts and education initiatives, found its purpose.


This is okay save the last word, purpose, which needs to be changed to "excuse".

He said U.S. efforts have lit "a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world."


I confess this execrable oratory perplexed me until I realised he was speaking in reference to his proposed renewal of nuclear testing.

** SMH link courtesy of Poly.
*** Updated: More on inaugural security at TBOGG's.
**** Another Update: I beat The Maestro to the punch!

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