Wednesday, October 20, 2004

They Wrote, Freepers Answered

By now you've read where The Guardian, a British newspaper, proposed that its local readers write to voters in an American swing state, so as to implore those voters to consider the effects their choice has on the world.

Now this is the sort of well-meaning decent sentiment that is bound to set in furious motion the average freeper or redstater. After spitting out their chaw in indignation, and along with it their partial dental plates, they loaded their 12 gauge, kicked the dog, and commenced to ritin' them derned furriners back:

THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE SPENT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS PROTECTING THE PEOPLES OF THE EU, AND WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN. BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL. I HAVE BEEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY OF MY ANCESTORS, AND I KNOW WHY THEY LEFT. MAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TOOTH CAPPED. I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES AT LEAST 18 MONTHS FOR YOUR GREAT MEDICAL SERVICES TO GET AROUND TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY.

Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. Fuck off and die asshole!!!!!

Who in the hell do you think you are??? Well, I'll tell you, you're a bunch of meddling socialist pricks! Stay the hell out of our country and politics. And another thing, John Kerry is a worthless lying sack of crap so it doesn't surprise me that a socialist rag like yours would back him. I hope your cynical ploy blows up in your cowardly faces, you bunch of mealy-mouthed morons!

You radical leftwingers are worse than the Taliban. I suggest you stand back and take a good hard look at yourselves.

As a US citizen, I want to advise you that you and anyone that participates in subverting the US presidential election can be criminally charged and perhaps even charged as spies.

Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.

KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT'S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS ... TOUGH SHIT!


And so on. Pretty much standard issue from those quarters. Whatever the effects of The Guardian's letters here, I'm sure the replies just cost Tony Blair more votes: "We're collaborating with these ignorant bastards why??" And for that, I thank the wingnut cretins.

I think it's funny that several accuse the Brits of criminally meddling. Wonkette strikes exactly the right note of mockery:

Yeah! Imagine that! A foreign power trying to, you know, assert control over a sovereign nation by writing letters. Why don't they just hand-pick a ruling coalition like a real empire would? Pussies.


I think it's worth noting that these same types, these indignant roundmouths and clay-eating white trash fucktards, who wail against "socialist" foriegners "meddling", are exactly the same sort who have historically been either in on the actual meddling of groups like the German-American Bund and AIPAC, or defenders of it.

Jonah, as you might have guessed, is in ecstacy:

"YOU STUPID YELLOW-TOOTHED PANSIES" [Jonah Goldberg ]
Look, everyone here knows I'm a raging anglophile. But this stuff is hilarious. The Lefty newspaper the Guardian launched a letter-writing campaign to get Ohioans to vote for Kerry. Here are some of the responses from America's heartland.


Nice.

Look, everyone here knows I'm a raging Cornertardophile, but it's still hilarious when someone calls Jonah Goldberg a fat sack of tacky, flabby, yuppie-scumbag, proto-fascist, dishonest, racist, son of a Nixon-slut, bludgeoned-with-an-ugly-stick homely, vapid, semi-literate, jackasstic, witless, couldn't get laid in a Tijuana whorehouse with Bill Gates's wallet, brainpan of a sausage-casing, rancid lard oozing, face farting, unfunny, twinkie-fellating, Mountain Dew mouthed, indolent, pooptescent, shit.

Which is an exact reproduction of something I've heard said many times in America's heartland. Yeah.

Hilarious.

*Edited for insult embellishment

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