Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Wag The Dog

"Condi, Dick, Tom, Karl, Satan.. I've brought you guys here to discuss what we can do to douse the flame that is that $%$#%%%%% Kerry's campaign. The Pakistani July surprise was a nice touch, but we have to keep hammering because

The figures just released show that the economy's in the toilet.

So, Tom, let's get a little sympathy going for my Wall Street base. Anything you can come up with?

You say that terrorists are talking about targeting America's economic institutions?! *PERFECT!*

Bullseye!

Take that, you French bastard! Muahahahahaha

What? Tom, what's this shit?

They're starting to catch on. Dammit. We'll have to go a different route now. Condi, can you still get those guys at the NSA to photoshop Kerry into a picture of a leatherdaddy parade, or replace Anton LeVay's head with John Edwards's in the context of a virgin sacrifice? No offense, Satan, you know you're a crucial part of my team, pardner. Can you still get that done, Condi? Karl? We could leak them to one of the Murdoch papers..

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