Illness strikes Satan's Team:
Kevin Brown was diagnosed with intestinal parasites, joining Jason Giambi as the second member of the New York Yankees to test positive for the ailment this week.
Tapeworms? Hookworms? Heartworms? Stupid AP, be more specific!
Considering that this is the Yankees and all, it's small wonder that some of their players harbour parasites of awesome, chthonian grotesqueness. After all, such things happen when one's boss is a petty autocrat, a Nixon fan, and certified intimate of Lucifer.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if some Yankee does a John Hurt-in-Alien thing and explodes a wriggling ghoul out their gut whilst corking their bats, scuffing their pitches, or microwaving kittens, as it is well known that Yankees are wont to do.
posted by RETARDO MONTALBAN @ 9:45 PM
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