Thursday, July 01, 2004

It All Makes Sense Now

Wonkette blogs that Laura Bush is actually a robot.

Could Laura look any more like an animatronic replica? From this pic, it seems less like Bush was going for a kiss than a full restart. Or is he just trying to hold her head on? We await further accounts.

Who knew that Enron had a robotics division? At any rate, it makes sense now: she seemed just too decent to be with that loser.

One imagines a younger GWB filling out the order for the LauraBot model:

Let's see, Hair? ..Brown, full of body. Lactation? MMmm, Evan Williams from one teat, Saudi sweet crude from the other. Lips? thin, Yaleish. Voice? Hmm, Pat Benatar or Tammy Wynette? Can't I git both? Bush? *giggle* I'm a "landing-strip" kinda guy... I have to remember to check the "blowtorch inside mouth" option.

Then they accidentally send him the beta model of Pimpbot5000.