Monday, July 05, 2004

Blog, Blog Like The Wind, Retardo!

And how! Since I get off for a holiday (The Hamburglar's Birthday, which was also last month), I've decided to thrill my three or four readers by having a blogging marathon today!

Yes, I, RETARDO, intend to blog until six this evening, meaning that you can expect two, maybe even three posts total. Now if I were Andrew Sullivan, this would be enough to ask for another round of donations, but since I'm not Andy, and besides that don't yet think that highly of my crappy blog, I promise to do this marathon for FREE.

FREE! Such altruism may offend Randian Nutbars, but I'll just take that chance. And speaking of Randian Nutbars, it's been a while since I've seen David "Randians are NOT rightwingers!" Neosporin check in to our common forum.


And reading his blog just isn't the same as the joy involved in reading his unhinged posts on primer. Where's the instant gratification of reading and responding to posts like this stridently ignorant piece of shit? Answer: there is none. It only qualifies for the "shorter" treatement, so here goes:

The 9/11 commission's conclusion that Czech intelligence was wrong about Atta is premature unless it has classified information which I'm too stupid to realise that special gvt commissions by nature possess. Also, the New York Times hates America; and considering the utterly damning post in the comments box, so too does Newsweek.

Sadly, his blog style makes for "nuanced" stupidity, whereas I wish for him to return to his old Primer style of over the top cretinism. But since he's a Randian, he can't be expected to do this for free! Which is why I, inspired by one of his juicier primer statements ("[Salvador] Allende deserved to be overthrown"), shall offer to purchase his reclamation of the former style with this perfectly apt:

tee shirt which is sure to be a hit with any Randian/"Libertarian"/Authoritarian dipshit worth their considerable weight in sticky-paged Friedman tomes. As an added inducement, I do believe that this shirt may be made in China.

That's right, bitch, you can't resist.