Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Only In Texas

The Pro-Life folks have been pissed at the most evil organisation on the planet:

The GirlScouts.


I recently aggravated Duk-E about staying the night in Texas when he and his family went to the Razorbacks' Bowl Game this winter just across the line in Shreveport. He hates Texas as much as I do: I said in so many words that at least I still wasn't corrupted, nyah nyah.

I'm gonna make damn sure it stays that way. So unless I happen to get a plane ticket to Austin, which I consider the only enclave of civilization inside of Texas, I will never cross its stateline. Ever. As a native Arkansan, it's pretty much my right, duty, and privilege to hate Texas, but I want to be serious about it. I'll never set foot in the state of Texas.

An appropriate anecdote, which I can't verify the accuracy of: A professor once told me a story of former Senator and Governor Dale Bumpers (D) of Arkansas who said to a Texas politician after Texas had tried to steal some of Arkansas's water, "here's a straw, if you suck as hard as y'all blow, you'll be fine."

And of course there's JFK's famous advice to Jackie before the fatal trip to Dallas: "be sure to wear something nice to show up those cheap Texas broads."