Thursday, October 16, 2003

President Gas's Latest Trysts With The Plutocratic Harlots Of The Former USSR

ChevronTexaco, which by the way owns Miss Condoleeza Rice, is planning to suck the lifeblood from the Ukraine, currently the most corrupt Eastern European nation in a too crowded field. Scheme outlined here in glorious Dow Jones Newspeak.

Elsewhere, megaplutocrat Mikhail Khordorkovsky plans to, perversely, cover his ass from the Kremlin's fraud investigators by lifting his skirt to the Bush junto's very own ExxonMobil. PG-13 rated version can be read here.

"president gas is tap dancing
for the banker he's a thief
he isn't very honest
but he's obvious at least"

--Richard Butler, Psychedelic Furs

The Azerbaijani Presidential election is a forgone conclusion, says the International Herald Tribune. gives an up to date look at the festivites, matter of factly stating that the country "braces for violence" while also showing the influence of western media by euphemising fraud as "irregularites". Plainly if the oil companies haven't taken over yet, the ways of their lawyers and the tastes in their media-employees have.

Baku Today has a lot of coverage of the election quoting the OSEC that Azerbaijan has shown progress but still falls short of international standards. Like Florida. The Baku Sun has a bit of coverage on the elections, as well. I suppose I should note that Azerbaijan is without question one of the most ravaged and polluted places on earth. Like Houston.

Petro Republic just doesn't have the same ring as Banana Republic, perhaps because it doesn't elicit rich images of a bumbling but menacing form of posh corruption (think of the setting and art direction of "Hungry Like The Wolf"). But if a Petro Republic has a music video's feel it's that of some grainy goat-roper video on CMT. Too dreary.

So I'm looking for and thinking of another phrase that can be used -- so far in vain. Any suggestions? As for the Azers, they even have copied the biggest Petro Republic in the world (America, natch) down to the "dynasty" bit -- the new President is son of an old President who in turn was an aging former spy master and protege of the region's most stalwart cold warrior. Sound familiar? They know US well -- as well they should, for the same people own them, too. Azerbaijan, welcome to Petroworld. Your Mecca is Texas.