Tuesday, September 14, 2004

In Case You're Wondering: They're Curled Up On The Couch, Eating Chocolates And Watching Lifetime's Movie Of The Week

I believe I have discovered the reason why my mortal enemies dear friends Dr Sebly F. No and Pete M. Window periodically disappear from their blogs -- the result of which being a chaotic overflow in their comments sections like sinks filled with so many dirty dishes. True, various explanations have been floated: some say they are drunken, others say that Amber Pawlik's overdriven libido leaves all involved for several days unable to type much less walk, still others mention Seb's legal problems, which stem from a nagging manslaughter charge he recieved after fatally bursting a freeper's spleen by speaking French in their presence. But this last excuse does not explain Pete M. Window's disappearances, but then it need not if the rumour is true that he is a bot constructed out of cyber-ether by the mischievous entities of Fafblog. Anyway, in the event that any of the excuses are false, I believe that my alternative explanation, by which I rigorously adhere to the principle of Occam's tampon, is most likely correct:

They're menstruating.

Those monthly mood swings, long considered an exclusively female affliction, may not be as gender-specific as once thought.

Researchers say men can get pre-menstrual tension too and now they have data to back it up.

A study by psychologists from the University of Derby in England suggests that men may experience cyclical symptoms similar to, or even worse than, those suffered by pre-menstrual women, including moodiness, discomfort and loss of concentration. Everything, it appears, apart from the bloat.

Trust me, good doctors: they have the bloat, too -- though in Seb's case I can testify that it's more because of intestinal gas than water-retention.

So, uh.. yeah. Now what was I saying? Oh, I need to mention that my absence was due to computer difficulties and nothing else.

(Thanks to Poly for the link. :))